he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
