fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
