I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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