I want to make a zoo with you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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