yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
