How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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