I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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