Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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