Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
