On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
