I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We're too hungover to prance.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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