i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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