we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
