My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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