then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
