we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
