Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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