Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
