i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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