my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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