That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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