I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
