A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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