Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
