i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
