He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
