Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
