I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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