Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
