A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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