Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
