This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
