I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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