i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
