WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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