can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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