I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The Olympian is in my bed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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