eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
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Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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