Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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