Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
