did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is Oprah even human
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
