i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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