If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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