I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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