When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
