Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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