Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
