I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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