i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
