You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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