In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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