you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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