I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
