I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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