So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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