remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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