I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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