Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
