I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a search helicopter?!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
