We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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