I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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