i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
