Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize