Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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