she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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